Saturday, 27 August 2011

Simon Says...

... "Travel" ... cos that is the theme on the Simon Says Stamp & Show challenge this week... and I am late entering... this tag has been half done on my desk for a yonk and a half so I thought I would have a little play to put right the wrongs of last night... Oh yes, indeedily, I have been in the wars again! So... I was sitting there, chattering away on the phone, like you do... and I noticed it was getting a bit dark. So, I gets up, goes and puts the cooker-hood light on... and... BANG!!!! There was a mahoosive explosion (ok, a loud bang but bear with, I am traumatised) and the lights went out, the phone went off, the microwave started bleeping at me and basically, I was left, standing all on my ownsome in a very dark house!


Now, I am not stupid *well, not really*- I have always prided myself on being able to change a fuse, rewire a plug and generally do a bit of DIY. (I can even change a wheel on a car!!) Anyways... the fuse box (or what I thought was a fuse box - it is actually a circuit breaker box **ok, I am a little bit stooopid**) is high up on a garage wall. And... there was no power to the garage. Aha, methinks, I will grab that handyily left torch on my way in. Yes, I was prepared, a torch that worked.. the only drawback was... the garage is full of, for want of a better word, "stuff". So, having moved several tonnes of "stuff", finally I managed to get to the ladder. Then I realised that the ladder has its very own mind and really doesn't like being pushed about by a woman. Said ladder was also too tall because I had had to open the garage door to move previously mentioned "stuff" and now... I couldn't get the chuffing garage door to shut. Pathetic female that I am, I was trying to push the door up and back to close it.. nope, wouldn't shift at all. So, ignoring the mardy garage door, I finally managed to extract a step ladder from behind more..erm... "stuff". And... then spent several hours (ok minutes but hours sounds better and believe me, it felt more like days) switching between cussing like a docker and crying like a moody toddler. I kept trying to put the breakers back in... oh no, they were having none of it. So, I basically turned into Basil Fawlty and started shouting at them... I told them, in no uncertain terms, that if they did not go back in then they would be out of there... and... they must have listened because... they stayed in! Hurrah and thrice!!



Then I had to tackle the garage door... and it still wouldn't budge, so I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to go and ask our next door neighbour for help. But, alas, he wasn't in! So, I went to the next house, knocked on the door... no reply! I could hear their telly so I reckon they had done a quick double shuffle behind the sofa so they wouldn't have to be subjected to a mascara streaked, cobweb covered, wailing, cussing mad woman. Well, I had a sudden flash of inspiration! I would try and shut the garage door from the outside!! And it worked... however, a few seconds just before the door slammed shut I remembered the following things: 1) I was barefoot, outside, in the peeing down rain, 2) if the garage door shut, it meant it was locked 3) if the garage door shut and locked I would, in effect, be locked out of the house because all the other doors were locked and I didn't have a key 4) Grim wasn't going to be home for three hours and 5) how would I ever live all of the above down if anyone found out? lol So... I launched myself at the door and thank the lordy above, the original ladder (the one that I had hefted out of the way in my first hissy fit) stopped the door from closing... phew close call or what!



Anyways... today I have an egg on my head and it is sore (the edges of roof beams are sharp!) My back feels like someone tried to remove all the muscles and then changed their minds and rammed them back in again without a care for where they should go... and the top of my arm keeps twinging... another trapped nerve. Next time... I am just going to light a candle and sit in the dark til a man comes along to help me... ROFL (am kidding!! although, it does sound like a good and honest plan rofl) Right, am offski, tis a VERY special Sunday Stamper tomorrow with an extra special guest setter... oooh, am off to make my entry!! TTFN

Hels x


21 comments:

Marijane said...

Hilarious, Hels! You are the BEST writer! I've said it before... you have to write a humorous book based on your life. It would be a best seller! Life's so unfair... some people get so much talent! Oh, as a side note, I love the tag too.

Craft Addicts - Tracy Evans said...

Sorry I should not laugh but that is exactly whT it's like in our house when the power goes off, for one I am always on my own, the box is too high on the wall in the garage so have to move a load of stuff too, such a pain oh and I always injure myself too. Love the tag Hels, great aeroplane image, fab background and beautifully embellished. Thanks for joining in the challenge at Simon Says Stamp and Show. Tracy x

Gillian .... said...

Oh nooooooo hun,should I bring my safety hat when I visit lol, hope your okay and not to traumatised by yesterday's events:(
Loving this travel inspired tag, just gorgeous hun. xxx

Helen said...

You are so accident prone - and I have read your whole post (laughing not a little, I have to confess) and not looked at your travel entry so going back to see what you made, lol.

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Bella said...

You had me so engrossed in your story that I quite forgot to look at your lovely tag as I scrolled down to the next endorsement of the soapie and had to back track. You are very entertaining and make the whole event come to life in my mind as I read it.

funkycrafter said...

love your story of self-sufficiency. i have been there. have been on my own most of my adult life so have had to charge ahead and figure out how to do it myself. was so happy when the internet bloomed with all kinds of helpful pages and videos.
great tag too. i would love to get on a plane and go somewhere with a white sandy beach and clear, blue water and just chill out.
hope the bump on your head is not too painful. and please take care of your back.

Debbie said...

Sorry for your troubles! Although I had to stifle a giggle! Don't like to laugh at other people's misfortunes! Love yur tag Hels! Must get me that plane!

Candy C said...

Hels...you about had me peeing my pants with laughter as I was reading about your troubles with the uncooperative fuse box and garage with "stuff" in it! :) You have such a way with words! I love your tag, my dear. It's beautiful and as always, you have so many details and layers of wonderful things to look at. Thanks for sharing not only your tag but your experience with us at Simon Says Stamp and Show Challenge. <3 Candy

Linda said...

Why Hels, what were you doing in my garage? Ha Ha Sounds just like mine except you fuse/circuit box is chest high in my house. You are hilarious girl.

I love this tag. It is awesome.

shirley said...

I agree with Marijane...you should write a book! Thanks for the morning giggle.
Fab tag by the way!

Barb Cady said...

I definately agree with Marijane you must write a book and then you could illustrate it with your fab art! Also, my garage is just like yours but I haven't your DIY skills and would sit howling in the dark! Love the tag, you clever thing you, hope your bruises heal soon. Love and hugs xx

Dragon said...

OOO you do get into some scapes missus woman, but the tale does ring a loud bell with yours truly!!! Anyhow, the tag is fabulous, and should be entered for TIO too...and are you signing up for the birdycage swappy thingie??? Go on you know you want to...
Frankie
xx

Sandy @ Keepsake Crafts said...

The important thing to note is that in the end, the WOMAN got it DONE. Yes, indeedy, I am proud of you. :-)

Oh, and, nice tag. lol

betjunroe said...

Hels, this is hysterical, although I'm sure not to you! It makes for interesting and funny reading. I love all of your projects and check your blog every day just for jollies. Thanks for all the inspiration! Bette

Terry said...

Hey there Hels, PMSL really your tooo funny...my goodness and then you make another fabulous piece of Art love everything about it Hels as allways you have made an AMAZING project. Thank you for joining in again on the Simon Says Stamp and Show Challenge Blog. Hugs Terry xxxx

Laura said...

Great tag. Love all the elements and it all fits together so well. Glad you got it finished. Sounds like not a lot of fun was ha in that garage. Glad you didn't get locked out as well

ellen vargo said...

Ooooh! Having seen this in person on skype I can say... this tag is *AMAZING* Glad you survived the "power restoration incident" !! thanks for always sharing your awesome art with us and being a regular contributor to the Simon Says Stamp and Show Challenges!

Love ya hon.... Els xxx

email: Steph@SimonSaysStamp.com said...

Hi Hels!!!

Loving the way you've layered these neat pieces! The white highlight of the "wander" token looks great too!!

Thanks so much for entering the Simon Says Stamp & Show Challenge!!!
-Sarah

Please:
*Follow Simon Says Stamp on Twitter
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Lori said...

LOL! You should really write a book about these escapades, I dare say it would be a best seller...lol! Fab tag, love what you've done with the air travel set, one of my faves!

sasa said...

Your memoires would make the top ten booklist... I have to leg it down a dark cellar when ours goes...which always when is when I bake pizza.
Love the blues and distressed tomes of your tag with yumptious decoration...
Thanks for sharing with Simon says Stamp & Show!
Sarah

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