Pah! And The Battle of Mother's Pride

Indeedily Pah! I am saying that loads of times so I don't end up having to add funds to the swear box... mainly because... why is it... two days of shops being closed over Christmas causes major panic buying and fighting in a supermarket??? That was my afternoon that was... not me and the fighting and panic buying... no I was just a witness to all of that malarkey. So, being as I regard myself as supremely organised (ok, that is stretching it a bit but I like the idea of it ROFL) and I have sufficient cunning to go and get the shopping done today rather than when the supermarket will be busy on Christmas Eve, I thought I would go and exercise my cunning plan and see how it panned out.... Pah! And thrice PAH! And an extra Pah! for goodly measures! I left home at 1pm, collected my prescription, popped to the Chemist to get it filled, said to the lovely lady there that I would be back in half an hour as I had to pop to the supermarket... mmm, famous last words there. Firstly, I was just about to reverse into a parking space and some clod in a huge BMW off-roady-blinged-up monster truck, that very obviously is needed for the rough terrains of deepest suburbia, decided that he was going to ignore Ferdy cos he is ickle and a bit cute looking... so, I had to drive around the car park for about ten minutes looking for a space! That should have sent warning signals to my cunning brain, warning, you know, of impending doom in the shop itself.



So, Ferdy is parked and I am fighting with a ******** insert own swearword in as you like for that one shopping trolley that really does appear to have been run over by old clod boy in the carpark's monster BMW. Anyways, off I toddle with me wonky trolley and experience what I can only describe as living hell in a hot sweaty shop with several hundred deranged people, all of whom have young children that think it is highly amusing to swing from trolleys and bash into the old dear with the wonky trolley (that'd be me!!), whilst simultaneously nicking the Pick n Mix *yes, I actually saw a snot nosed boy dipping into the white mice... remind me to NEVER buy white mice Pick n Mix LOL* I got to the milk aisle to find not one single bottle, carton or even thimble of the stuff... so, I asked the assistant if they had any more milk... and his reply is very obviously what they teach them at charm school... he said "no, we 'aven', i' i' bizzeee n t' sno make us run art" Which, I think, roughly translated meant they didn't have any - or he didn't intend on checking for me at the very least. Anyways... that said, it was bizzeee, far too blinking bizzeeee (note the PAH! is silent there LOL)




Finally, I made my way to the checkout, minus the big toenail on my right foot after it was ripped off in the Battle of Bread Aisle. Yes, the fighting, thought I would save that til last... I have never been so utterly entranced in all my life... to see two grown women having a tug of war with a loaf of sliced white... seriously, it was a case of "I saw i' first" " No you diiient" "Yeh I dit" and so on and so forth... to the point that they actually split the bag open all over the floor, so neither of them got the blinking thing in the end!! I finally made it through the checkout and back into the carpark with my little chariot (by now I had come to love my little wonky trolley, it was quite endearing the way it wobbled and squeaked every so often) and realised that I hadn't got any bread, any milk or any Vol-au-Vent cases (which are a MUST at Christmas just incase the neighbours pop in for Sherry - not that that has ever happened but you can't beat a nice mushroom volly for breakfast ROFL) So, now I have to go back and do it all again... however, this evening I have hatched a very cunning plan indeedily... I am going to... send Grim!!! And the time I spent in there??? TWO HOURS!!! Really!!! TWO WHOLE HOURS!!! I had to have a little Nanna Nap when I got home, such was the trauma ROFL The pics here are my 12 Tags tag for Tag 9 (mmm, how many times can I say Tag in one sentance??) Thanks for looking... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! *whispers... pah! ;o))* TTFN

Hels x