...I do... you see, she inspires me to go and create with food and stuff and to be honest, and I am being brutally honest here, I am not one of the world's most...erm... competent cooks. See, it happened like this. Last week I went to see my BFF Andrea and she was making a pie. Now, this pie looked like heaven on a plate. So, I says "I too shall have a go and make that pie" All well and good, it is a chicken and mushroom pie and the recipe is simples.. and I am usually ok with things like pies and savoury stuff. So, I headed home with my head full of "I am so gonna make that pie" and I decided that the pie is making its debut today, in fact, this very evening, when our friends Richard and Mary come round for dinner... and yes, they are bringing Jerry the Springer with them (hey, I made sure of that when I invited them rofl) Being as I am a very busy lass - ok, ok, that is a rubbish excuse, truth is, if I make pastry, it looks like tiling grout... only thicker, lumpier... and greyer. So, I decided to buy my pastry. And overestimated the amount of said pastry I would need. So, after painstakingly making the chicken and mushroom pie I saw the amount of pastry left and quickly came to the conclusion that Nigella bungs her recipes together so quickly and simply, that I too could achieve some wonderous creation in just the blink of a batted eyelid. This is the result. Feel free to laugh.. I have actually nearly pee'd my pants laughing.....
They were supposed to be Coconut Macaroon Tartlets. They are, in fact, Coconut Macaroon-With-Added-Chewy-Congealed-Burnt-On-Bits Tartlets. I followed a recipe for these little blighters too! It plainly stated to roll pastry thinly, cut with pastry cutter to line a patty tin. I did that with ease! I haven't actually got a pastry cutter that is 3", which is what they told me to use... oh, erm... you already know that it is bare-faced lie cos I was on the tellybox with them a few weeks ago... well, ok, I do have said 3" pastry cutter but it is upstairs, I was downstairs and too lazy to go and get it so I used Grim's brand new beer glass instead (don't tell him though) It also said to use 1 tsp of Jam. I did that. Really, I was very strict and put one ickle teaspoon of jam into the pastry thingy. And then it said to put 1 tsp of the macaroony mix on top of the jam. So I did that too. I was smiling smugly as I popped them into the oven, oh yesh, I was very smily indeedily.....
It said to bake for 20 mins on 180degrees. So I did that... up until I checked them at about 14 mins gone and noticed the oven was indeedily set on 190. "Oh ho! That is why they are a bit dark" I says to AlfieCat who had decided to come and see what that burning smell was. So I lowered the temperature and opened the oven door and wafted it a bit to let the heat out (who am I fooling save for myself). I then cooked them for another 8mins on 160. Oh dear. This is my patty tin that I have had for several decades and never once scratched it.... well, it is now! *I do need to add that I do use it... probs about once a decade or so....*
Anyways... never one to be defeated, I raided the cupboard and found some Glace Cherries so after I had eaten half the punnet of them, I then proceeded to make the Coconut Macaroon-Mess-Burnt-On-Tooth-Breakingly-Revolting Tartlets a bit...erm... tarted up! I have yet to taste one because I am fearing for my gnashers... I might suggest that Grim tries one first... you know, just to see if they taste as bad as they look. Lord knows what the chicken pie will turn out like... I have high hopes for it because it does look nice even though the pastry isn't cooked yet... If you don't hear from me again, you will surely know that the chicken pie has, in fact, seen me off!
*look at the state of that patty tin!* Oh and... even though I made us a very good Christmas dinner I still managed to goof up that too... because I burnt the Christmas Pud... in the microwave! I know, how is it possible to burn something in a microwave? Well, I dunno, give it to me and I will do me best! Anyways, I shall away.... I need to rest now, I will have a small fit of the vapours to ensure that I do not return to the kitchen anytime soon and go back to making a mess with ink and paint instead. Hope you all have had a wonderful Christmas... Thanks for looking... TTFN!
P.S....14 Days to CHA!!!!